R U OK? Day. Quick Tips on How to Start the Conversation

Today, is R U OK? Day – an opportunity to start genuine and honest conversations about men’s mental health. But sometimes, we worry about not being experts in handling the conversation when in reality is showing that you care what counts. Lost for words or unsure how to start the chat? Here are some quick tips to get you started.

Check up on yourself. Are you in a good headspace, and do you have a few minutes to listen to someone?

Be prepared and open-minded. A person could not be willing or ready to talk with you. And that’s OK.

Choose your timing right. No point in asking R U OK? to someone when they are under a deadline or their important document got jammed in the printer…. by the way, do people still print?

Choose your place. Research shows that men are not good at opening up face to face. So a coffee, side to side, a walk or drive might be better.

Asking the question. There are many ways to ask, “R U OK?”. Here are some options:

– Hey, I’ve noticed you are ‘off’ or worried lately. Is something troubling you?
– Mate, you haven’t been online for a while. Feel like a chat?
– You’re not your usual self; I’m worried about you/ Are you feeling OK?

A good pair of Don Sox are always good conversation starters.

Listen with intention. There’s no point in asking someone how they are and then rushing out of the conversation or dismissing their feelings. Instead, if someone feels safe enough to open up, take the time to listen and pay attention.

“Do I need to fix their problem? I don’t know how.” No, you don’t need to be a mental health expert to help someone. Prompting the conversation and encouraging action it’s all that is required.

Taking action. You can say something like:

– ‘Be gentle with yourself whilst you’re feeling this way.’
– Make sure that you take care of yourself.’
– ‘It might be a good option to talk to your GP. I’ve heard they can be of great help in these situations.” Would you like me to help you book an appointment?’

Finally, don’t go MOA on the person. Instead, make sure that you keep showing up to support.

You can learn more at ruok.org.au